How Your Guests Can Help Support You During Their Postpartum Visits
Bringing a new baby home is such a beautiful moment and I’m sure you’ve been thinking about it all pregnancy long. Even in the midsts of enjoying the journey there’s something about thinking about the end that feels idyllic. All the what if’s and could bes lead up to the very moment of now. Your ideal set up of life postpartum and bringing baby home is only but a plan away. To make it real you have to get clear and set out some expectations.
Bringing baby home is also a time when you’ll need plenty of rest and care. It’s completely normal for friends and family to want to visit and meet your little one, but how they visit can make all the difference in helping you feel supported during this postpartum phase. Your body requires nine months to fully develop a human being, and birth left you with an internal scar the size of a dinner plate, you don’t have to rush to get back to hosting, gathering, and snapping back to your pre baby body, life, or ways. Your family wants to come and at this time of your postpartum they should come to see baby but also to make things easier for you.
Here are some friendly tips for planning those visits so they work for you and your healing.
Set Boundaries Ahead of Time For Bringing Baby Home & Their Postpartum Visits
It’s perfectly okay to set limits on when, how long, and how many people can visit at once. Let your guests know ahead of time what works best for you. Maybe you’d prefer short visits, or you’d like them to call or text before coming over. Clear communication upfront can help you avoid any awkwardness or overwhelm later on.
Your partner can send out a mass message to families and friends or post to Facebook the latest details on what to expect about seeing the newest addition. Having someone else send that message on behalf of you and your family will definitely keep the anxiety at bay. You won’t be the person coordinating it and with your intentions set out those who respect it will show up and those who are taken aback won’t.
Have a sign posted up ahead of time to avoid any frustration with difficult family members. Worse case you can simply announce you and baby are tired and going back to bed, that will be their cue to leave. Or do like my grandma always did, she would stand up and say thanks for visiting while she escorted you to the door. lol
Ask Guests to Bring Meals or Snacks During Their Baby Visits
One of the best ways your visitors can support you is by bringing food! Postpartum recovery and caring for a newborn take a lot of energy, and meal prepping might be the last thing on your mind.
You still require meals and if you have a family then they stopped eating since you to go and delivery your newest little one. Getting that taken off your worry list will help you stay in good spirits as you focus solely on rest and taking care of baby.
Don’t hesitate to ask guests to bring over something nutritious and delicious. Whether it’s a warm meal, ordering out, or sending cash for food delivery it will definitely help. You could also set up a meal train for your family so that you don’t have to coordinate it at all. You simply set the dates when you want food delivered and your family and friends sign up. We tried it out with our latest delivery and it was so helpful.
Encourage Them to Help with Household Tasks During Their Postpartum Visits
Sometimes the most helpful thing a guest can do is lend a hand with everyday tasks. You shouldn’t be tending to your home in the early days of postpartum. I love to promote the 5-5-5 rule to all moms. To learn more about that check out the blog post here. In any case, you will be bed ridden and your house doesn’t need to go to shambles because of it. Create a list of things visitors can help with if they’re up to it. This sort of double dips on people who visit and it gets the most out of them and their time while you get to rest. Don’t worry you’ll return the favor in kind I’m sure.
If someone asks how they can help, don’t be afraid to suggest practical things like doing a load of laundry, tidying up the kitchen, or even taking out the trash. These small gestures will allow you to rest and focus on your baby. Not sure of what to put up, you can always post up this how you can help list and allow your visitors to choose. Click the link to grab the list now.
Limit Baby Holding to What You’re Comfortable With Your Postpartum Visitors at Their Baby Visit
While everyone will be eager to hold your newborn, it’s important that you feel comfortable with how often (or if!) you’re handing over the baby.
Your baby is brand new with limited defenses. You can always asks visitors to wear masks or gloves. Have a spare receiving blanket ready to avoid baby’s skin on anything that may cause irritation.
If you’re not ready, or if you’d prefer to hold the baby yourself, it’s okay to say so. Your comfort and bonding time with your baby come first. You ruffle some feathers but sometimes coming to see the baby is just that, coming to see (not hold) the baby.
Request Emotional Support and Listening Ears from Postpartum Visitors At Their Baby Visit
Postpartum can be an emotional rollercoaster. Having guests who are willing to simply sit and listen can be incredibly healing. Debriefing or recounting your birth story, checking in on how you’re doing as of late, having an ear to talk to about breastfeeding, newborn care, or the general challenges of postpartum will help you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Sometimes you don’t need advice, just someone to hear you out, offer empathy, or share a laugh. Have those over who you know will fill your bucket and pour into you. Draining family members can see the baby at the next large family event. Let your close friends and family know how much you appreciate their emotional presence.
Have a “No Expectation” Postpartum Visit For Their Baby Visit
Not every visit needs to be an event! Encourage guests to have “no expectation” visits where they aren’t expecting you to entertain, chat endlessly, or look perfectly put together. These laid-back visits can help you feel more at ease, allowing you to truly rest in their presence.
These types of visits are great for those who know we’re putting on a movie and resting up together. You’re here just to be a presence and provide some support every now and again.
This is ideal for the friends and family who are just as nurturing as you are. Who are willing to get up and bring you water, snacks, the remote, or anything else you may need.
These kinds of visits are important too because with all hormonal changes you go through postpartum often times you will feel fluctuations in your energy and your capacity. Remove all the requirements you would typically have on yourself. Things that may also trigger the needs for days like this are nights up with a newborn, having other pains and feels that are fleeting or hard to manage.
Sometimes, you might just need a visitor to be there without saying much. A friend who can sit quietly, perhaps read a book or watch TV while you rest, can still be a wonderful support. Their calm presence can bring you a sense of comfort and reassurance during this time of adjustment.
Visitors Who Help with Older Siblings or Pets in Their Baby Visit
If this isn’t your first baby, you may also appreciate help with your other children or pets.
Your family may now have limited time and resources since the arrival of your little one. While your older children maybe happy to have a new sibling, their needs and wants have to be prioritized differently. You may currently be unavailable to take the kids out and about to some of your usual hangouts or events. A visitor could take your older child out for a fun activity or walk your dog, giving you more time to focus on your newborn and your recovery.
This could be a time that would help strengthen their bond and help alleviate you of all the things by being a parent of multiple ages. Visits that also prioritize your older children could also help them with the shifts that the family is making to adjust to having a new little one. Children have great big feelings and may not always be able to express them. So look out for their cues for wanting time, energy, and affection as well to ensure that everyone’s needs are met to the best of your ability.
Visitors Who Bring Comfort Items for You in Your Postpartum & Respect Your Needs
Your guests don’t always need to bring something for the baby. Sometimes, the best gift is something for you! Consider asking for things like self-care products, cozy blankets, or your favorite snacks to help you relax and feel cared for during their visit. There are those who will ask do you need anything, keep a running list so that those who come can feel like a good friend or family member to you as well. Those who ask really do want an answer, a good one that helps them feel as useful and involved in your journey as a person in your life. People want to show up for you so let them and be open and honest about what you needs
Finally, don’t feel bad about cutting a visit short or asking for alone time. Your body is healing, and both you and your baby need rest. Let your guests know you’re grateful for their time and love, but also that you’ll need quiet moments to recharge.
By sharing these simple guidelines with your friends and family, you can create an environment where their visits are truly helpful, rather than overwhelming. Remember, this is your time to heal, bond, and enjoy your newborn—so let your guests know exactly how they can support you best!
